War Zones

WHO’S GOT YOUR BACK? *

You can hold your head high; keep your upper
lip as stiff as triple starch; and arch your brow in
such a way as to convey an attitude of sans souci
when trouble’s in the wind… and if the wind
brings stormy weather and you’re double-jointed
and you’re Gumby or his cousin, you can

let a smile be your umbrella
on a rainy, rainy day
and if your sweetie cries, just tell her
that a smile will always pay. [1]

And, really, who’s to say? The sleepiest cliché
could actually be quite profound, and there
might truly be a thousand ways to lift your chin
up off the ground. But still, the body knows the
difference between a grimace and a grin.
Eventually, the body pays.

Perhaps it has been said of moi, The woman has
a spine. If such a comment has been made
about my character, the maker of it hasn’t seen
my MRI or peered beneath my skin at what
resembles nothing more than sticks and string
that tenuously cling to the remains of bony
architecture and the wreck of joints and
tendons, cartilage and musculature once upon a
time robust and flexible.

Was I proud of being strong enough to carry
groceries and babies up three flights of stairs and
never turn a hair? Not that I should have
spurned assistance, but I surely wouldn’t have
expected any or believed that I deserved it. I had
lost my purpose, sabotaging my defenses; hence
began the little wars (where all wars start) inside —
my pride just then contending with my spine, if
recollection serves. I barely noticed at the time,
for I was occupied with making virtue of
necessity, which I called independence rather
than confess (once Mom and Dad had left) what
I was lacking: self-respect and someone’s lap to
nestle in. What happened was, I read the memo
wrong and thought I was intended as the
sacrifice; in point of fact a vast, eternal paradise
was meant for me, and all along — as now, at
last, I understand — God had my back.



[1] “Let a Smile Be Your Umbrella” (1927), music by Sammy Fain, lyrics by Irving Kahal and Francis Wheeler 

* Suggested by "Wipe Out," the August 29, 2012, episode of Intuitive Health by Mona Lisa Schulz, M.D., Ph.D., on HayHouseRadio.com